Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
