is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
she smelled like a LAN party
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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