Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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