Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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