He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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