They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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