The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
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Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
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You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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