This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.