I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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