this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.