when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
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and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
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I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no