Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady

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  (212): we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady http://tfl.nu/of3l
  Replies (7) Good night (2073) Bad night (618)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.

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  (352): Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance. http://tfl.nu/csuc
  Replies (178) Good night (4138) Bad night (933)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...

  (1-609): View more from New Jersey

  and?

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  RIP clitoris

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  (609): I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there... (1-609): and? (609): RIP clitoris http://tfl.nu/1ub6
  Replies (597) Good night (5404) Bad night (102409)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.

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  (715): I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead. http://tfl.nu/jayy
  Replies (19) Good night (1825) Bad night (3846)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.

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  (224): I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home. http://tfl.nu/0j8i
  Replies (22) Good night (6155) Bad night (763)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.

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  (403): She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl. http://tfl.nu/n4eu
  Replies (6) Good night (3792) Bad night (913)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue

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  (812): Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue http://tfl.nu/ir9h
  Replies (93) Good night (4721) Bad night (1172)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...

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  (704): You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that... http://tfl.nu/s4gm
  Replies (10) Good night (2417) Bad night (1032)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.

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  (336): I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying. http://tfl.nu/o8vt
  Replies (1) Good night (818) Bad night (1173)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.

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  (517): my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win. http://tfl.nu/1toi
  Replies (7) Good night (1650) Bad night (611)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.

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  (+44): Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed. http://tfl.nu/fgrh
  Replies (7) Good night (1458) Bad night (524)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?

  (219): View more from Indiana

  Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.

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  (219): Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts? (219): Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy. http://tfl.nu/z832
  Replies (10) Good night (524) Bad night (1301)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.

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  (705): We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman. http://tfl.nu/hp7f
  Replies (0) Good night (934) Bad night (355)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.

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  (205): I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is. http://tfl.nu/i5kl
  Replies (5) Good night (728) Bad night (509)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.

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  (317): I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me. http://tfl.nu/crpx
  Replies (2) Good night (501) Bad night (139)

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