I hate all girls vehemently.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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