Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin. http://tfl.nu/cawx
  Replies (3) Good night (1419) Bad night (517)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  Billy Mays is dead too!

  (1-352): View more from Florida

  Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): Billy Mays is dead too! (1-352): Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs http://tfl.nu/okmt
  Replies (11) Good night (2070) Bad night (657)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex? http://tfl.nu/035m
  Replies (26) Good night (1387) Bad night (4395)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life. http://tfl.nu/71wd
  Replies (25) Good night (12975) Bad night (1210)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate http://tfl.nu/e0yr
  Replies (22) Good night (7721) Bad night (1423)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  We just shotgunned beers for America

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): We just shotgunned beers for America http://tfl.nu/dv8f
  Replies (31) Good night (4113) Bad night (952)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing. http://tfl.nu/pnzr
  Replies (1) Good night (1796) Bad night (612)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out. http://tfl.nu/wy42
  Replies (11) Good night (716) Bad night (1114)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences http://tfl.nu/lf6j
  Replies (2) Good night (601) Bad night (871)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly. (910): im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325 http://tfl.nu/vc15
  Replies (26) Good night (856) Bad night (2387)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.

  (904): View more from Florida

  And you say you're not good with numbers...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night. (904): And you say you're not good with numbers... http://tfl.nu/gbor
  Replies (5) Good night (1184) Bad night (407)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker! http://tfl.nu/ia91
  Replies (0) Good night (711) Bad night (354)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis? http://tfl.nu/tjmy
  Replies (12) Good night (889) Bad night (287)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out" http://tfl.nu/r386
  Replies (2) Good night (268) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night. http://tfl.nu/ytkw
  Replies (1) Good night (235) Bad night (524)

Randomize