she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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