Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
