Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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