I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
it's like iHOP with fire
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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