Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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