I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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