u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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