I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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