also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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