Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
