found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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