plz talk dirty to me
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize