also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
