No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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