god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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