Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize
