the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
