I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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