Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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