"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
