Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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