god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
nutella sex= disaster
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
