BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
