why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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