guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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