I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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