If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
