You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
