Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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