did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I just googled if crying burns calories
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
