im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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