You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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