Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
