she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
