Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
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I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I forget how to act sober
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