if i can run in heels then i can drive
Someone shit on the floor
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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