what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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