Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
