oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I don't deserve a penis
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
