This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
