so that wasnt chicken after all
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
