I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
