Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
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I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
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When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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