Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
