wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
