All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Randomize