The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the barista slut.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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