She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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