my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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