dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
