If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
