i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
