No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
We left an ass print on the piano.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
