Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
