I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
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