you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
