don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
